This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
