Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When are your genitals available?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
