I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Duck Duck Cougar?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize