Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
