he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
