"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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