hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
