you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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