i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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