omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
