so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
