He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
