I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
