We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize