I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
