I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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