she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
party gras won. party gras always wins.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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