Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
