Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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