She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
