Don't you send me to vm
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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