You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
