I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
