Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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