Swine flu. Run for my life!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
