his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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