You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
