I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
