Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
