I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
