I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
