I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
