hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
