and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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