there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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