Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
