so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
