They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
