yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
