He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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