they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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