when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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