good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet