i'm home, then i'll come over
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.