Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?