it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
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That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.