i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
