I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
