Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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