I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
