We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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