Yo dont text me then not text me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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