He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
