Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we made out on top of his cat.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
