I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
