I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
