okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh god it's open bar.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
