bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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