it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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