How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
farters have to be the big spoon...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
