So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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