I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
